A New Look at an Old Story

Recently at Bible study we discussed personal testimonies—their purpose, what they should include, etc. I can’t tell you how I needed this!

I cringe a little when I realize that because my testimony most often is told to believers, I’ve gotten used to presenting it in a way that’s very matter-of-fact, Christian vocabulary-laden, and...well...just sort of dry—more of a soteriology lecture than a personal narrative.

Why in the world would I ever tell it that way, whether to an unbeliever or a believer? My life has been radically changed. And so I thought I'd tell the story here—maybe it will be interesting and/or encouraging for those of you who haven’t heard it before.

I’ll start at the beginning: I was born into a Christian family and grew up in the “church culture.” From as early as I can remember, my worldview was decidedly Christian; I accepted what the Bible said as true, and it was the lens through which I naturally viewed all of life.

When I was six years old, I attended a Vacation Bible School and was told things I’d heard numerous times: that God is the Creator; that I was his creation, made in His image and accountable to Him; that my sin had separated me from God, who is perfectly holy; that because God is holy and just, He must punish sin—and that the penalty for sin is eternal separation from Him in hell; that God, out of His great love, chose to send His Son to take the punishment that I deserved; that Jesus died, was buried, and rose again, showing His power over sin and death; and that I had to turn away from my sin and trust solely in Jesus and His merciful work in order to be made right with God.

I was young, but I followed this logic and believed it was the truth. So my teacher led me to pray, telling God that I understood these things and asking Him to forgive my sins through Christ and make me right with Him. I did.

I was excited to be “saved,” but not much in my life seemed different then, or over the next few years. My worldview was the same, and my outward actions were the same. I still believed the same things, and I still lived a “Christian” life, reading the Bible and trying to follow its standards, praying, attending church, etc.

During my early teenage years, I started to question whether I really was a Christian. I was aware of the danger of merely piggybacking on my parents’ faith, and I knew it wasn’t acceptable—to God, or to me. But was I piggybacking? No. I didn’t think so. The Bible’s truths rang as true to me as ever. I still believed fully that the Bible was the Word of God and the source of truth—the truth.

But was I really right with God? I loved Him, believed His Word, and had a growing desire to live in a way that pleased Him. But I wondered...what if I had prayed my childhood prayer naively? Six years old is very young. Looking back, I wasn’t sure whether I had been sincere or had really understood. I did believe the Bible, and I loved God and was counting on His Son’s sacrifice to pay for my sins. And yet, because I couldn’t with certainty name the time/place when I first believed, I was afraid that I might be deceiving myself. I don’t think my parents or friends had any idea of my internal struggle, but I spent a lot of time in uncertainty and fear.

But during that time I began to study the Bible intently. And the more I read, the more I understood.

Something that I hadn’t grasped very well before was that being a follower of Christ isn’t so much about being able to name a point in time when you prayed a fervent prayer. Following Christ is about a life exchange—trading your old sinful life for a new life in Christ. It means turning away from sin and to Jesus, throwing your entire life on His mercy and grace because you realize that there’s no other source of salvation. It’s realizing that you can’t be counted righteous before God unless His righteousness is counted on your behalf.

The Bible makes this superabundantly clear...and discovering it brought so much comfort and joy to my heart.

Of course, God does His saving work in a person’s heart at one specific moment in time. And for many people, this is marked by a very memorable occasion, usually involving a prayer. But a prayer is not the proof of salvation. A changed life is.

Did God save me when I was six years old? Or did He change my heart sometime during those teenage years? I honestly don’t know. But I have no doubt that there was a point when He did save me from my sin. I know this because I see that my life is completely His; He’s taken hold of my heart and changed it completely. The ability to follow Christ, to love Him, to hunger for and understand His Word, to be convicted of my sin, to desire to please Him, and to be gradually be made like Him—those are all things that I could never do on my own. They’re gifts from God.

Jesus once told the Pharisee Nicodemus, “The wind blows where it wishes and you hear the sound of it, but do not know where it comes from and where it is going; so is everyone who is born of the Spirit” (John 3:6–8).

The point is that salvation is God’s work. No attitude or action on my part could have rescued me from my sin. Only God could. The apostle Paul said it this way: “It [salvation] does not depend on the man who wills or the man who runs, but on God who has mercy” (Romans 9:16). My salvation didn’t hinge on a prayer I prayed, but on God’s mercy and His power to change my sinful heart. And He did.

I’ve been able to share this story several times now, since we talked about it at Bible study...and I hope to be able to share it many, many times. It is a good one! How wonderful to dwell on the things that God has done through the power of His gospel.

I’m reminded of the words of an old hymn we used to sing when I was that little six-year-old in church on Sundays:

I love to tell the story of unseen things above,
Of Jesus and His glory, of Jesus and His love.
I love to tell the story, because I know ’tis true;
It satisfies my longings as nothing else can do.

I love to tell the story; more wonderful it seems
Than all the golden fancies of all our golden dreams.
I love to tell the story, it did so much for me;
And that is just the reason I tell it now to thee.

I love to tell the story; ’tis pleasant to repeat
What seems, each time I tell it, more wonderfully sweet.
I love to tell the story, for some have never heard
The message of salvation from God’s own holy Word.

I love to tell the story, for those who know it best
Seem hungering and thirsting to hear it like the rest.
And when, in scenes of glory, I sing the new, new song,
’Twill be the old, old story that I have loved so long.